Should You Still Ask Her Dad Before Proposing?

A marriage proposal isn’t just a question—it’s a life-changing moment. But before you drop down on one knee, you might be wondering—should I ask her father for permission first?

It’s a tradition that has been passed down for generations, yet modern relationships look very different from those of the past. While some still see it as a sign of respect, others feel it’s an outdated practice.

So, how do you decide whether to follow this tradition? In this guide, we’ll break down the history, reasons for and against asking for permission, and how to approach the conversation if you choose to do so. Plus, we’ll share some fun and practical wedding and relationship advice, because getting engaged is just the beginning of the adventure!

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
   
   
2. The Tradition of Asking for Permission
   
   
3. Is Asking for Permission Still Relevant Today?
   
   
4. How to Ask for Permission (If You Choose To)
   
   
5. Alternatives to Asking for Permission
   
   
6. What If They Say No?
   
   
7. The Engagement Is Just the Beginning—What Comes Next?
   
   
8. Marriage Survival Tips: The Funny (But True) Side of Marriage
   
   
9. The Best Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need
   
   
10. Final Thoughts: Should You Ask for Permission or Not?
    
    
11. Planning to Propose Soon?

Should You Ask for Permission? Key Factors to Consider

There’s no universal right or wrong answer here. It comes down to what feels right for your relationship and family dynamics.

1. Your Partner’s Feelings

Before making any plans, have a conversation with your partner. Some people love the tradition and see it as a sweet gesture, while others find it outdated.

Red flag: If your partner strongly opposes the idea, listen to them! It’s their proposal too.

2. Family Expectations and Traditions

Some families (especially in religious or traditional households) expect the future spouse to seek their blessing. If you know her parents value this tradition, it might be worth considering.

3. Your Relationship with Her Parents

Do you have a good relationship with them? If so, this could be a great bonding moment. If not, or if they’re estranged, then asking might not be appropriate.

Alternatives to Asking for Permission

If traditional permission-seeking doesn’t feel right, here are other ways to involve her family:

1. Ask for Their Blessing Instead

Rather than seeking permission, ask for their support and blessing in your future together.

2. Include Both Parents (or Guardians)

This isn’t the 1800s! If your partner has a close relationship with both parents, involve them both.

3. Involve Them in the Proposal

Consider inviting them to be part of the engagement celebration or proposal planning.

4. Plan a Post-Proposal Family Celebration

Instead of asking beforehand, celebrate together after the proposal.

What If They Say No?

It’s rare, but it happens. If her parents hesitate or decline to give their blessing:

• Stay cool and be kind – No need to argue or get defensive. Just listen, respond calmly, and keep things respectful.

• Listen to their concerns – Are they worried about financial stability? Differences in values?

• Reassure them – Let them know your love and commitment are unwavering.

• Talk to your partner – At the end of the day, your partner’s opinion matters most.